Jan's Sushi Bar

When I sat down to write this week’s Spin Cycle post I started to say, “I know more about survival than I ever cared to know.”  Which isn’t true, once I really consider the statement.  The things I’ve survived have helped to make me the person I am now.

An alcoholic, drug addict father.  Abandonment.  An orphanage.  An abusive step-father.  A bad marriage.  An even worse divorce.  The death of my mother.  Poverty.  Single parenthood.  A blended family.  Teenagers.  Menopause.

Microsoft updates.

I truly believe that whatever doesn’t kill you only serves to make you stronger, and I fully intended to write this post about one of the worst things I ever survived.  Until I woke up this morning and realized that Bill Gates had done me a huge favor by installing a ton of updates and rebooting my laptop – without my knowledge or consent.

And guess which idiot had left half a dozen applications open the night before, with half-finished and unsaved work in each?

Why, yes – I would be that idiot.  So I stared at my blank screen with my eyes half-gummed shut and a mug o’ java in my hand (oh, shut up – you try giving up caffeine AND alcohol and see how well you do) and realized well, shit – yesterday was the second Tuesday after the planets all aligned in the House of Saturn coinciding with the anniversary of the end of the First Punic War and that’s when Microsoft always schedules its updates.

Silly me.

And as I began to write the post on survival, it occurred to me that everything in my life that I’ve survived has had at least one benefit – they have all ended.  Well, except teenagers and menopause, but I know those things will end.

Microsoft updates?  That shit’s FOREVER.

1. Di says:

   March 11, 2009 at 8:31 am

   How does Microsoft update your software without a password?? We have Mac computers and none of the updates that Apple sends us can be implemented without the administrator typing in their password even if we have an open program … I had no idea Mr. Gates had such authority over YOUR computer. Yikes!

   Di
   The Blue Ridge Gal

   (but, yes, software updates do go on forever)

   Dis last blog post..Spring… Always The Lady
2. Linda T says:

   March 11, 2009 at 8:50 am

   That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
   Friedrich Nietzsche

   Jan- I swear I was contemplating this maxim last night and thinking that while I believe that in some ways the shitty things that have happened in my life have made me stronger- BUT- have they also made me more paranoid, fearful, neurotic, and wounded? Do I really have more resilience than a person who has not undergone some of my more harrowing trials or do we just tell ourselves that to make ourselves feel better?
3. Tough Yankee Broad says:

   March 11, 2009 at 9:01 am

   I firmly believe that Microsoft was designed to “rule” the world of computer users and make their lives miserable on many occasions; while Mac’s were designed for people to “use”.

   Tough Yankee Broads last blog post..QuickBooks 2009 & Financial Statement Designer
4. Lori says:

   March 11, 2009 at 9:27 am

   We have so much in common that I think we must be sisters. I am thankful that you survived all that you did and I do believe that these hard ugly things that we have survived along the way, have made us different. Different, in a good way. We don’t look at things the same way as many people do because of where we have been and what we have experienced. Things that others might take for granted, we don’t.

   I read the things you have been through and I know it’s only a glimpse into the pain that you have had to endure and survived. What I am most thankful for is that these things didn’t ruin you and make you bitter to life and love. While many choose to hold hate in their hearts, to let these past hurts rule how they live life and choose to hide away in bitter resentful existance. You have not. The beauty that is you, shines forth from these pages of your blog. These glimpses that you share with us, are blessings and inspiring to those of that read. Thank you for sharing who you are and choosing the way that you have! Great post.

   Loris last blog post..Manic Monday
5. stoneskin says:

   March 11, 2009 at 10:21 am

   Fortunately I only run linux.

   Have you written Bill a letter? ;op
6. Smart Mouth Broad says:

   March 11, 2009 at 10:46 am

   LMAO and I’m so sorry. You have to laugh or you’ll cry. I once lost all my data in outlook with the “help” of a support tech. Until DA MAN rescued me……….hence the name. For a week, I would answer each request with I would do that but I no longer have the ability to contact that person, company, representative, congressman, priest, rabbi OR ANYONE ELSE IN THE WORLD. It wasn’t pretty, let me tell you. I’m glad you can laugh.
7. Twenty Four At Heart says:

   March 11, 2009 at 11:14 am

   What pubic war?
   Never mind … I don’t think I’m awake yet …….

   Twenty Four At Hearts last blog post..Excuse Me While I Vomit
8. TC says:

   March 11, 2009 at 11:49 am

   The reason Microsoft can update automatically is due to a “feature” that they like to call Automatic Updates. Rather than bug you with a prompt to install, they go ahead and do it for you. Windows XP is a lot different than a Mac because essentially a Mac, like most Unix based OS’s will not let you perform administrative tasks without prompting to do so (with a request for the admin password). Windows isnt so lucky, especially in XP. Vista and 7 make this attempt through the use of the User Account Control feature, which acts very similarly to Unix. However, Im not sure whether this applies to Automatic Updates or not. If I know Microsoft and their past, they probably bypass their own technology to make it convenient for their users to receive updates automatically. They do make this a configurable option, so that you can download the updates but choose when to install them.

   Leave it to Microsoft to make things “easy”.
9. SSG says:

   March 11, 2009 at 12:32 pm

   Jan, Classic.

   You write about the shit you went through in a very matter of fact way, then can laugh about updates, but that’s how it goes, isn’t it?

   I really hope the Meopause ends soon for you so you can feel better. Hell, how long is it supposed to go on for?

   And I think you should get a Mac.

   SSGs last blog post..Another post that changes tack half-way through
10. Nothing Fancy says:

    March 11, 2009 at 1:02 pm

    Jan – I can’t stop laughing!!! It’s that darn truth that’s so darn funny!!!!!!

    Thanks for my afternoon laugh-so-hard-I’m-crying adventure. I think I survived it, but I’m not sure.

    Nothing Fancys last blog post..My Career – A Lesson In Survival
11. Tricia says:

    March 11, 2009 at 2:08 pm

    I adore you for many reasons…because of all that you’ve survived and lived to tell about, and because I really needed a laugh today. THANKS!

    Tricias last blog post..Monogamy Lessons and My Affair
12. Midlife Slices says:

    March 11, 2009 at 6:10 pm

    I love a survivor. Oh, and you can go into your control panel and stop that updating without asking you shit. I finally fixed HBL’s laptop after about 100th Suduko puzzle he’d left open and ALMOST solved, only to come back and find it gone because his pc updated.

    that man is a Sudoku fanatic and you just don’t mess with his numbers.

    Midlife Slicess last blog post..I Am a DumbAss
13. Sprite's Keeper says:

    March 12, 2009 at 8:27 am

    Ack! How did I miss this? You’re on my freakin’ Reader! I hate when our office system updates every day at noon. Slows everything else down and keeps popping up every 5 minutes. A-NOY-ING. You’re linked!

    Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..It’s Tuesday, It’s Random, You Should Expect It Now
14. Ginger says:

    March 12, 2009 at 8:44 am

    I think I’m another one of your undiscovered sisters, too. I’ve survived many of the same things…my father was not an alcoholic, he just had multiple affairs. I did not ever live in an orphanage, but we moved 13 times in 12 years. Abandonment, check. Abusive first husband, check. Nasty Divorce, (aren’t they all?) check. Single parenthood, check. Poverty, check. Blended family, (and boy howdy, is THAT ever it’s own peculiar hell!) check. Menopause, check, check and check.
    Like Linda T said, I survived it all (so far) but there are parts of me that are gone, parts of me that are wounded, and parts of me that I’m still trying to coax out from under the bed.

    Gingers last blog post..A Red Margarita for Ruby Tuesday
15. Be says:

    March 12, 2009 at 9:25 pm

    I only hope software updates go on forever – I call it job security!

    But if it makes you feel better I heard today that he has lost 18 Billion (a capital “B”) dollars in the past year! What will he ever do with only 40 Billion left?

    Imagine LOSING – $18,000,000,000. In one year? How the fuck could you spend it that fast!
16. Be says:

    March 12, 2009 at 9:27 pm

    I make buggy software – where’s my 18 billion?
17. Shangrila says:

    March 13, 2009 at 2:59 pm

    I laughed when I first read “Microsoft updates”, and then read further. I’m not laughing now! That just plain sucks (and I would never ask you to give up alcohol AND caffeine-do I look like a sadist to you?!)

    Shangrilas last blog post..Spin Cycle: Exit, Stage Left…