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RTT: The Naked Truth
I’ve been attempting to eat more healthily and reacquaint myself with the treadmill in the basement lately. I’d gone several days without any sugar or alcohol when, convinced by my friend Elaine that red wine will actually help me lose weight, I pulled out my trusty corkscrew and began cutting the foil off a very nice bottle of petit syrah…only to find more foil underneath.
If one were to believe in omens or other supernatural messages from beyond, one might consider this a slight hint that we should put the glass and aerator away and save the bottle of ruby-red happiness for another day.
Fortunately, we are not superstitious. It was delicious.
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Yet another instant message dialogue between me and Oldest Son:
Me: Hang on a sec – I’m on the phone with Beloved. He’s carrying on over the whole 2012 thing.
Oldest Son: LOL – oh, God.
Me: Apparently I need to stock the basement with Spam.
Oldest Son: You don’t have any left over from the Y2K scare?
Me: No, no – we were hoarding batteries for that one.
~~~~~~
The Young One was reading over my shoulder, as he is wont to do (and I am wont to remind him how RUDE that is), when he saw my post about bungee jumping.
“YOU’VE been bungee jumping?” he asked, absolutely incredulous.
“Yes, I have,” I answered.
“YOU,” he repeated.
“Yes.”
“Bungee jumping.”
“YES.”
“My mother has been bungee jumping.”
“For crying out loud – is it THAT hard to believe?”
“Well, duh,” he said, giving me a look that said I’ve lost my mind.
I guess it’s that hard to believe.
~~~~~~
A couple of Saturdays ago, my inlaws came over to visit and have dinner. That morning, as I was picking over a pound of Great Northern beans for the baked beans I was making for dinner, The Young One was standing there with me, talking. He turned to leave when Beloved came striding into the kitchen, naked as the day he was born, to get a cup of coffee. (In his defense, The Young One is not usually downstairs that early on a Saturday morning.)
The Young One immediately screeched, whirled around and covered his eyes. Beloved took his time getting his coffee, and I just laughed.
“Young One, you’re overreacting a bit, don’t you think?”
“But he’s NAKED!!” he wailed.
I laughed. “So are you underneath your clothes.”
“Yeah, but at least I’ve GOT my clothes on! All he’s wearing is his dignity.”
I looked at him with my eyebrows raised. Before I could say anything, he said, “Okay, never mind. His pride, then.”
~~~~~~
A little bit later, Beloved had gone to Home Depot (fully clothed), The Young One was vacuuming the floors (one of his Saturday chores) and I was in our bedroom getting ready to take a shower. Just as I had removed ALL of my clothes, The Young One came barreling through our door with the vacuum cleaner.
Repeat reaction.
“You should have knocked!” I said, laughing.
“I did!” he insisted.
“Well, knock louder next time.” I went into the bathroom and shut the door. “Now, you can come in and vacuum – just don’t come into the bathroom.”
Then I heard him muttering, as he plugged the vacuum in, “Swell – now all I need is to see Grandma and Grandpa naked.”
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For more randomness and Tuesdayness, go visit The Un-Mom. Go ahead. She won’t bite. She might get naked, but she won’t bite.
Should we start a collection for the counseling that the Young One probably needs?
Hilarious events/conversations in your house! And no need to be a fly on the wall.
Beths last blog post..Who smoketh whom?
LOL! That was great just what I needed to get my day started with a laugh.
I think I ought to drink more red wine to beat this beer belly…
Great post.
Cute blog as well
Seeing your parents naked is a traumatic experience for some boys. My oldest had this same reaction. Made us laugh hard.
Micheles last blog post..RTT -
Wow. That’s funny enough to be an email forward. How old re your kids? They’re hilarious!
Julie@Momspectives last blog post..Bloody Noses, Friendly’s and Thanks, Xanex-Random Tuesday Thoughts
LOL! Too funny!
Lindas last blog post..Two Orphans
Way too funny! Love that he used “dignity” and “pride” in that situation. Heehee!
GreenJellos last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts
I just almost spit my Diet Dr. Pepper all over the screen about the IM conversation you had with your oldest. My husband swears up and down the end of the world will happen in 2012. I keep reminding him that in the Bible it says NO MAN WILL KNOW WHEN THE SECOND COMING WILL HAPPEN.
Kats last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts- My Heathen Kids
Thank you for the much needed smile! Now, if you could start posting some of the low fat stuff you’re cooking, I can use it!
Sprite’s Keepers last blog post..RTT: Today is technically my Monday, so I’m not as jazzed about Tuesday. So Tuesday, er, yay.
I walked in on my parents “doing it” when I was 22. Now THAT is traumatic…
Very funny way to start the day. Thanks!
Red wine is the key to … everything. : )
oh the poor kid – I don’t know who would be more freaked out about seeing the G’s naked – him or them!!!
Red wine beat beer every time. Besides, haven’t you heard, some red wine each day keeps the doctor away! Or is it….. no. It’s wine.
Happy RTT!
I played too!
GiGi @ Incrementums last blog post..[Insert title here]
Oh dear lord Jan. Thank-you so much for cheering me up.
Pseudos last blog post..Great Meadow in the Sky
I’m hoarding Spam in my in box!
Remind me to never read your post while eating my lunch again. I almost choked. “Swell, now all I need is to see Grandma and Grandpa naked.” ROFLMAO……and choking
a lot of nakedness in your house! LOL!
The conversations with your kids was hysterical!
Otins last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts #7
Glad the double foil didn’t foil you from drinking the wine…particularly the petit syrah…yummmmmm!
Will you be putting in a donation button for Little One’s future therapy sessions? Wait, you might need one for SPAM donations, too…
Great randomness!! Happy RTT!
Stacy (the Random Cool Chick)s last blog post..Babbling Random Tuesday Thoughts
Loved the whole naked stuff, too funny! Kids do their fair share of embarrassing things to us through the ages…it’s kind of nice to have a little “pay back”.
Heathers last blog post..Random Tuesday Thoughts
I don’t know where to start. I love it all!!
daughters ex girlfriend was all tied up on that 2012 deal as well all I can say is God will protect
Ahhahhah! That’s awesome. Nice to see the endeavour to scar our children for life doesn’t end when they get a little older.
Is 2012 the whole Mayan Calendar thing? I think we’re probably going to hell in a handbasket way before then.
Keelys last blog post..Another juicy itchy collection of Random Tuesday Thoughts
hi! i linked over from keely.
my parents are hippies – even to this day – and i grew up in a house full of naked people. by a house full, i mean the commune we lived in during my formative years. thankfully i look exactly like BOTH of my parents!
bexs last blog post..RTT: what i am doing at my computer
Jesus Beloved the kid is only gonna be there for a few more years! Put on a robe!
You make this shit up right?