RTT: Because I Apparently NEED An FBI Profile

It’s the first Tuesday of 2011 – what better way to celebrate it than a little Random Tuesday-ness?

Well, what are you waiting for?  You know the drill – grab button, link to Keely, be random.


I have made no resolutions this year.  I offer no excuses for this, but if you demand a reason go here and here.  Both of these posts resonated with me – the first because I am very goal-oriented, but suck at taking action to achieve them (expect a very long comment from Beloved on that particular personality trait of mine) and the second because – hey – I’m me.  Anarchy?  I’m all over that.


We spent the New Year with our favorite little guy, The G Man.

Note the expression on his face.  Does he look this way because:

A) He has a cold

B) Grandpa confiscated his binky

C) He is overdue for his nap

D) All of the above

(Yes, D is the answer.)

He was quite generous in sharing his cold, too.  Aaaaa-choo!


Speaking of New Year’s, how was your New Year’s Eve?  Ours was…eventful.

Beloved was asleep by 10:00 p.m. – we’re such party animals – but The Menopausal Insomnia Fairy paid me a visit and I didn’t start to drift off until about 11:45.  Just as I was sinking into a good sleep, midnight struck, fireworks were set off and a group of happy assholes decided to celebrate LOUDLY in the parking lot of our hotel directly beneath our window.  Hell, they were wide awake – why shouldn’t I be? *sigh*

Need I mention it was 3:30 a.m. before I nodded off again?  And that was laying on the sofa in our suite (yay! for Beloved’s Holiday Inn Preferred Member status), with my laptop tuned into Netflix.  Not that the sofa was that comfortable but I was pretty damn exhausted by then, after spending the day with an energetic, if sniffly, 16-month-old.

You know this story doesn’t have a happy ending, right?

Because at exactly 5:20 a.m. I was rudely yanked from the first deep sleep I’d had that night by a loud, shrill “WONK! WONK! WONK!” sound that just wouldn’t stop.  I shot straight up off the sofa, convinced my laptop (which I’d just upgraded to Windows 7 two days prior) was making this racket.  I scrambled to boot it down, terrified the people in the room next to us were going to complain, but since I wasn’t wearing my glasses this took a bit more effort than you’d think.  All the while I was completely unaware that Beloved had calmly gotten out of bed and was getting dressed.

Once my laptop booted down it became clear that it was not the source of the loud, shrill “WONK! WONK! WONK!” sound and I said so.

“Of course not!” Beloved said.  “It’s the fire alarm.”

Despite the possiblity that we could be roasted alive in a Holiday Inn suite, I was some kind of relieved, let me tell you.  So I dressed quickly and we headed downstairs to the lobby, where there were many grumpy people suffering from hangovers milling about.  It didn’t take us long to head outside, despite the fact it was raining cats and dogs and cold to boot, because the combination of the loud, shrill “WONK! WONK! WONK!” sound and grumpy people suffering from hangovers started to get to us.

It took the fire department half an hour to show up, only to tell us it was a false alarm.  Well, no shit, Sherlock.

So we went back upstairs and went back to bed…to be jolted out of it by a loud, shrill “WONK! WONK! WONK!” sound at promptly 8 a.m.

Yes, we promptly checked out.  Not a bad decision since a leak in one of the bathrooms caused a short in the fire alarm system and they had to take it offline all together.


Beloved has recently taken to telling everyone – and wants me to tell you, too – that we are harboring a pedophile in our house.

No, really – we are.


Meet the Pedi File.

Hey…it was HIS idea.

28 thoughts on “RTT: Because I Apparently NEED An FBI Profile”

    1. LOL – well, that was the only eventful thing that happened. When we came out of the hotel, some kid (and by kid I mean someone in his early 20s) walked up to us and said something along the lines of the whole alarm thing not being a very auspicious beginning to the New Year. Let’s hope it doesn’t set the tone for then entire year!

    1. He’s in Memphis at a client site. He’ll log in eventually this evening, and I’m sure you’ll get an eyeful. LOL

  1. I went to bed early on NYE too since I had to get up at 4 for the rose parade. I’m STILL tired and I didn’t even have a fire alarm to deal with. I have a pedi file in my house too! : )

  2. Love your New Year’s story! I think we went to bed at the same time, although time zone adjusted, and we apparently had the same happy assholes in our parking lot (neighborhood) too.

    Happy New Year!

  3. That was … just bad. LOL.
    The Holiday Inn experience sounds terrible. If you are ever in MTL, you will have to stay at the Delta Centre Ville… I can vouch for it being great!

    1. Yeah, but “bad” has been used in conjunction with “Beloved and Jan” before. LOL

      I’d love to go to Montreal, but if and when we should ever get to Canada (which reminds me, I need to apply for a passport) we’d probably go to Toronto; it’s much closer.

  4. I have a pedi file too. Broke it out recently and everything because my feet were rough and catching on the sheets. WTH?

    I hope you found a little extra sleep on New Year’s Day.

    1. My feet tend to become a mess if I don’t take care of them – hence the Pedi File.

      I found sleep on New Years night, but lost it again last night. It’s hard to sleep when you can’t breathe through your nose.

  5. I just wish the Anarchist would take the next crate of unfinished arts and crafts down to storage in the basement. Though one of these years you will need a resolution to clean all the other crates of unfinished projects as they are filling up the cellar! No resolution means you don’t have to say you are sorry. Besides who says you can only resolve to do things on the first?

    Happy New Year!

    1. It works really well, actually. I have to be careful not to overdo it or my heels get tender, but if I’m diligent with the Pedi File and some super nice foot balm Darling Daughter got me, my feet actually look and feel like feet, rather than jagged, cracked rocks.

      And Happy New Year to you!

  6. OK – what does the expression on my face say?

    A) G ripped my glasses off so many times that they are bent.
    B) My turkey waddle is well earned.
    C) She only takes pictures of me in black and white so no one can tell how gray and bald I am.
    D) When did I get so frickin old?

    And SHAME on your for expecting an option for “All of the above”! 😛

  7. Tired and sick or not, he is still a darling little boy…your new years sounds quite eventful and loud…I didn’t get to sleep until 3:30 am either and not because I was out having fun…and back up with little one’s at 7 am…I really am getting too old for this…lol…my husband would like this pedi thing…might have to get this for him sometime. 🙂

    1. Ah, your insomnia was bothering you, too? Frankly, I don’t know how you do it, raising two small children full timed – I only had to look after The G Man for a couple of days and the kid wore me out!

    1. Thanks, Erin…I seem to be a tad bit better this morning – I can at least breathe through my nose a little – but I don’t think I’m going to make it through a full day at work.

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